always buy the travel insurance
Dan Foster is taking his girlfriend Mara on a vacation. They’ve been together a couple of years, and he’s decided to splurge and take a real vacation, after he saw it advertised on social media. It was a new all-inclusive resort on a tropical island near the Bahamas. And things are nice at first. They’re in Building B, which isn’t as nice (or as expensive) as Building A, where the ultra-wealthy stay. But it’s better than Building C. Dan and Mara are having a perfectly lovely time. And then the sun explodes.
Although is explodes really the word for it? Dan and Mara were outside enjoying the day when the sun just seemed to melt away. There was no big bang. It didn’t seem to dissolve into a million tiny stars. It wasn’t like it went dark even. It’s just it just melted from the sky, leaving then in darkness.
No one is quite certain what to do. Communications go down almost immediately, so they can’t contact anyone back in the states. They have to figure it out for themselves until the plane comes back to get them. If a plane comes back. CEO and owner of the resort, Brody Sheridan, isn’t entirely sure. The man who owns the rest of the island is Dr. Terry Shae, a scientist with a large telescope. As someone who studies the sky, he affirms that the sun is gone from the sky, but all the other planets and stars that he observes are all exactly where they should be.
But what they all really need is a leader. And one of the women from Building A steps up. Lilyanna Collins is the CEO of BeachBod by Lilyanna, an exercise pyramid scheme that draws in wine moms from all over. She is buff and beautiful and a natural leader. Lilyanna calmly explains that Building A took all the food overnight because they need to stay on top of the provisions, to make sure everyone has what they need until rescue comes. And when platters of breakfast food comes out for those in Buildings B and C, everyone is happy. So they don’t take the time to ask her about the armed guards now in front of Building A. And when she breezily explains that there will be tasks for them all to do, to work for their provisions moving forward, she makes it sound like it all makes perfect sense.
It’s not too bad at first. Lilyanna has them going through the resort building by building, scavenging supplies. With no sun, the island will be getting colder, and the electricity may run out at some point, so they’ll have to ration that at well. But as they days go by, and the rations get smaller for Buildings B and C, there is dissent. There is rebellion. And those armed guards have to take action.
There is a small airstrip on the island, and Dan’s friend Alan can’t help but wonder if there is a plane there also. He was an Air Force engineer, so he might be able to get a plane moving again. Dan and Alan make a sneak over to the airstrip and find that there is a plane there, a 6-seater, which would be enough to get Alan and his husband and Dan and Mara off the island. But it’s in bad shape. It will take Alan some time to get it in shape enough to fly it. It’s not an immediate fix, but it is hope.
While Alan is working on the plane, Dan and Mara are sewing warmer clothes to prepare for the coming climate change. They work hard, but the rules get stricter, and the guards get meaner. Mara is discouraged to see her friends going hungry. Dan and Mara get caught in the middle as friends from Building C want to stage an attack against Building A to get their power back. But it’s when Dan goes back out to the airstrip to check on Alan that he finds out the truth about the island and everything that’s been happening there.
But is that knowledge enough? With a class war, a coming ice age, and no way to get off the island, will Dan and Mara be able to survive their vacation apocalypse?
Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend is a tragically funny look at the possible end of the world from a fancy vacation resort on a tropical island. With intelligence and snark, this novel looks into the depth of humanity and finds that love may not conquer all, but it can go pretty far when the world is ending. With the social satire on the classes, some romance, and the whole apocalypse going on, this story is packed with adventure, humor, and heart. And when you finally find out what’s really going on in paradise, you might just book your next vacation right away, to stay home on your sofa.
I listened to Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend on audio, narrated beautifully by Stephen R. Thorne. I thought he brought the right amount of sarcasm to the humorous parts and warmth to the relationship parts. I especially loved his performance of Lilyanna and thought that elevated the performance to excellence. This book was a lot of fun to listen to, and it tells a great story. Plus, it is a fantastic reminder to buy yourself the pretzel whenever you get the chance.
Egalleys for Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend were provided by Sourcebooks Landmark, and an early copy of the audio book was provided by RBMedia, both through NetGalley, with many thanks.
