when it's all too much and you're not enough

The idea of self care is simple—taking time to relax and refresh, finding balance with work and the rest of your life, building relationships that make you feel safe, and taking care of your mental and physical health. But to actually accomplish all that when the bills are stacking up and everyone seems to need something from you and time is flying by and everyone looks better than you, posts happier photos on social media, and seems to be living their best lives while you feel like you’re just getting by? Not so easy after all.

Illustrator and author Hyesu Lee has struggled with it. She’s known toxic relationships, struggled to find her voice in her art, dealt with perfectionism, and fought against bullies. For years, she tried to hide away her acne, her birthmark, the hallmarks of her race. But eventually she realized that wasn’t getting her where she wanted to go. So she stopped.

She stopped listening to what others told her to do. She stopped feeling like her gender or her race meant she had to look a certain way. She stopped trying to be perfect. And what she found was joy. Her art took on more energy. She wore what she wanted and did her hair the way she wanted and ate what she wanted, and she was so much happier.

Now she rests when she needs to, letting her sofa draw her in to a big hug. She says no when that’s what best for her. She values the relationships that help her. And she shares her self-care journey with all of us in her book Self-Love Club. She still makes mistakes and works too hard sometimes, but she is willing to reset and try again.

With bright, colorful drawings that are full of whimsy and vulnerability, Lee shares her wins and her struggles, emphasizing how she cares for herself and inspiring readers to find rest and energy in her words and illustrations. The soothing words of this book blend beautifully with the energy of the illustrations, making this a fun reminder to take care of yourself.

As I read Self-Love Club, I was reminded how challenging the end of the year can be. There is so much going on with all the extra holiday events, as well as the pressure to end the year strong and accomplished, that it’s the perfect time to slow down and enjoy a book about self-care. It would also make a great gift for anyone who struggles with self-love (i.e. almost everyone). I know that reading about Lee’s struggles made me feel seen as well, and her bright drawings brought a smile to my face.

Egalleys for Self-Love Club were provided by Chronicle Books through Edelweiss, with many thanks.