taking space

Darcy is back at work after taking some personal time, and she’s ready to be back. She loves working at the library. Even if someone emails with questions about birds being gay. Even if there is a man watching an adult movie on the computer. Even if someone else complains about the man watching the adult movie. She is still glad to be back.

Darcy had taken time off for her mental health. She got word that her ex-boyfriend Ben had died. He was young. He had been older than her, but he still died young and unexpectedly, and all of Darcy’s doubts about that relationship came up in a whirl until she found herself naked out back by the lake in freezing temperatures. Her wife Joy had found her out there and brought her back inside. Darcy’s recovery had included some time as a patient in a mental health facility and lots of therapy.

And now she is back at work, trying to put what she learned in therapy to work. She makes a conscious effort to be kind and inclusive, even to the man who is upset in the library, accusing her of being liberal and of not protecting the public the way he thinks she should. Darcy is liberal, but she is just staying true to the library policy. She does her best to diffuse the situation, but the man leaves angry and Darcy feels like they haven’t heard the end of his frustration. And she is correct.

It turns out that the man is a correspondent for the online journalism site Liberty Lately, and he uses his interactions at the library to stir up his followers. They keep showing up and making their feelings known, going so far as to talk about banning books. Darcy keeps her boss informed on what’s happening, but there’s not much more she can do except to focus on the library’s policy and try to maintain a safe place for all patrons.

Meanwhile, Joy has to leave town to help her sister who has just had a baby. Darcy stays home by herself. She goes to see her therapist, she rescues a cat, she has dinner with friends. She continues to think about Ben and who she had been in that relationship. She’d hadn’t been openly gay yet, hadn’t even figured out that was what she wanted, so she’d been just a shadow of her real self. It took her a long time to understand that about herself. It took her a long time to take up her own space in the world. Now she is taking space, and she knows who she is, but will this new threat against the library take that away from her?

Is This a Cry for Help? is a character study of a woman’s coming to terms with who she was in the past. It’s about the safe space of the library and the safe spaces we hold inside us, and the balance makes for a lovely story. Author Emily Austin is known for her heroines, and Darcy is a smart, strong, quirky character who thinks hard, works hard, and wants the world to be better. She has a good heart, even when she’s still trying to figure it all out.

I was surprised by Is This a Cry for Help? I expected a smart story, but I wasn’t ready for how much I got caught up in Darcy’s story. Her grief is so palpable, and her growth is so beautiful. I got sucked into Darcy’s story, into her heart, and into her wins.

Egalleys for Is This a Cry for Help? were provided by Atria Books through NetGalley, with many thanks, but the opinions are mine. I liked the book so much, I bought the Kindle version.