guided back home to the truth

Greer Dunning had left home and made a life for herself, or at least the imitation of a life. She works as a guidance counselor at a middle school. She has her own apartment. She goes out sometimes. But she holds herself apart from those around her. She has secrets. She has a past. She’s happy to be anonymous in Chicago, because where she came from, she was anything but.

Growing up in Ludlow, Kansas, one of the daughters of the family who owned the grocery store, everyone knew who Greer and Eliza were. They couldn’t be late with a library book, or smart with a comment, or jaywalk without someone calling their mom and reporting it. They thought they were safe. They thought they were invincible, the way all teenagers do. Then Eliza was out one night with her boyfriend Travis, and Greer’s world ended. Both Eliza and Travis were shot in the head, and nothing was ever the same.

That was fourteen years ago. In the years that followed, Roy Mathews was arrested, convicted, and executed for the crime. Greer moved on as best she could. But she still had questions. She had doubts. She had secrets.

And then it happened again.

Two teenagers on a date were shot in the head, same as her sister had been. The same caliber of gun. And Greer needs to go back home to Ludlow to put her doubts to rest. She had always said that Roy hadn’t acted alone that night, and now she’s certain of it. But what she doesn’t know is who that person is. And while she can’t stop her father from drinking himself to death, and she can’t stop her mother from cleaning things that are already clean until her hands are rubbed raw, Greer thinks she might be able to find that elusive killer. Because she thinks that he did it for her.

I Did It for You is Amy Engel’s latest novel, one that looks at the secrets of a small town and exposes them, layer by layer, until all that’s left are the truths that could destroy the people of Ludlow or help them find a way to heal. It’s an atmospheric slow-burn thriller filled with autumn, regret, the bad decisions of teenagers, long memories, sunsets, drive-in movies, diner food, and deep wells of grief spread throughout the town.

I had a really hard time setting this book aside until I got to that last page. It’s a thriller that’s a good story, but it’s also one of those books that somehow reached into my heart to my own secrets and sadness and unlocked some of my long-buried pain. I think it brought me back to some of my own struggles as a teenager and helped me let go (no one got shot in my past, but there were still injuries and incidents that left a mark), which is part of the magic of fiction. But I Did It for You is also just a really interesting well-told story of facing the truths of your past and trying to find a way to move forward.

A copy of I Did It for You was provided by Dutton, with many thanks.