To be clear, this is about stabbing fabric, not humans or animals. But it does involve swearing, so maybe that helps?
So if you are one of those people who has ever said, with great snark, “That would be lovely stitched on a decorative pillow,” about something mean someone else has said, then this is the book for you. Maybe Swearing Will Help includes 25 cross-stitch patterns from several experienced neddlecrafters with a sense of humor and an understanding of the type of language that at one time would have had adults threatening to wash their mouths our with soap.
There are some lovely sentiments, like “The High Road Sucks as I am Petty and Vindictive by Nature” or “Please Grant Me the Serenity to Resist Cutting a B** Today.” Others are simply “Shut Up” or an “I’ll Be Damned” or (for the Anglophiles) “Bollocks.” Incidentally, the designs do spell out all the words. I am not, as I doubt that this review will get posted online if I were spelling out the entire words. But do not fear, these crafters are completely forthcoming with all their swearing.
Never tried to cross-stitch? Not a problem. The book starts with a few pages giving you all the information you need to get started and offers more stitching tips and help along the way. Many of the patterns round out the design with flowers, tattoo art, decorative writing, or a cartoon cat holding guns. There are even a couple of alphabet patterns, so you can create your own saying for your cross-stitching art.
The 13 contributing artists are all listed at the back of the book, along with a short bio and where to find them on social media, so if you find some designs you like, you can find more of their work. But the designs in this book will offer you a great chance to get started, because who doesn’t need a beautiful handmade gift of a framed sampler that says, “Behold! The field in which I grow my f***s/Lay thine eyes upon it and see that it is barren”? Or if that’s not to your taste, perhaps you prefer a, “I wish I was a Unicorn so I could stab stupid people with my head.”
I learned to cross-stitch back when I was around 12. I haven’t done it in years, but these patterns are inspiring me to give it a try again. I love the colors and the modern take on classical designs. Some of these would make amazing gifts for friends, and I have my eye on other designs for myself (the cat with the guns and the “Pew Pew” is a big favorite). Cross-stitch is a pretty simple craft to learn, and once you get the basics, you can add on to these designs or create your own, so I think it’s an ideal craft for a book like this. It can open the door to a new generation of cross-stitchers, so I think it would be an amazing gift for anyone looking for a new hobby where you get to stab a piece of fabric over and over again.
Egalleys for Maybe Swearing Will Help: Relax and Curse Your A** Off in Cross-Stitch were provided by Insight Editions and Weldon Owen, with many thanks.
