Samantha and Eleanor were only nine, playing on the California beach, when a talent agent discovered them. As blonde identical twins with matching dimples, Elli and Sam were captivating, and when they were offered a chance to become stars, they took it. Their agent set them up with acting lessons and headshots, and it wasn’t long before they landed their first commercial.
That commercial turned into a role on a television drama, where the twins shared air time to play the daughter of a police woman. The hours were long, with lots of time spent sitting around in their trailer waiting for their scenes, but Sam loved every moment. Elli wasn’t as excited to be in front of everyone like that. She just wanted to be a normal kid, going to school and trying out for cheerleading and going to parties with friends. But Sam wanted to be a star.
When their character got killed off from the drama, Elli was relieved and excited to spend a year as a regular teenager. But Sam was miserable as a regular high schooler and wanted back in the spotlight. She talked Elli into another show, this time a Nickelodeon comedy about twins, where they got to play characters based loosely on their own personalities, to make things easier on Elli. But after a while, Elli wanted out again.
When it was time for college, she took the opportunity to end her contract and go back to her normal life. Sam wanted to stay in Hollywood, though, and did what she could to stay. But one twin just isn’t as interesting to casting directors, and as Sam spent more time partying than studying, she soon found herself out of school and out of a job.
The years slipped by, with Sam in and out of rehab, and Elli married to her college sweetheart and running her own floral design business. Sam and Elli eventually stopped talking, so Sam was surprised when her mother contacted her out of the blue and asked for help. Elli had gone away for the weekend to a retreat in Ojai and her mother needed help looking after Ellie’s daughter Charlotte. Sam was stunned. She had no idea that Elli had adopted a child. And then Sam found out that Elli’s husband had moved to Tokyo. She was a little over a year sober, but how could so much have changed so quickly?
Sam agrees to help, gets time off from her barista job, and heads to Santa Barbara to her parents’ house. She meets the adorable Charlotte and despite not having been around 2-year-olds before, she does her best to help take care of her. When the weekend is over, Elli still isn’t home, so Sam decides to stay a little longer. The days slip by, trips to the park, AA meetings in the evenings, and still no Elli. Sam starts to get worried about her, so she decides to investigate.
Sam heads to her sister’s house, and she finds a binder filled with self-help writings. Her sister had made notes and highlighted passages. Sam doesn’t know what to think at first, but some internet searches point her to the idea that the group could be a cult. Is it possible that her twin sister has abandoned her daughter to join a cult? And if she has, could Sam figure out a way to pull her back out?
Janelle Brown’s I’ll Be You has so much going on. There are twins who were Hollywood sweethearts. There is the Hollywood party scene and then rehab and sobriety. There are infertility issues that break up a marriage. And there is a woman’s self-empowerment group with a compound behind tall fencing where women shave their heads and wear matching dresses. But mostly, this novel has a lot of heart. The paths these sisters have chosen, the decisions that tore them apart and then brought them back together, drive this story that looks closely at what it means truly to be a family.
I loved this book, racing through the story to find out where it would end up. These sisters are one, but they are also very distinct personalities, and following along as they grow up and grow apart is such an amazing part of this story. But then, when they come back together to take care of Elli’s daughter Charlotte, the true power of these twin sisters comes through. I’ll Be You has so much going on that it’s easy to lose the thread of the theme, but at its heart is the family. The mistakes we make, the choices that cause pain, the forgiveness, the redemption, the second chances, the secrets, the denial, and the strength it takes at the end of the day to just keep moving forward. I’ll Be You is about love, and it’s about hope, and it’s a beautiful book to read at a time when you’re looking to find some hope yourself.
Egalleys for I’ll Be You were provided by Random House Publishing Group through NetGalley, with many thanks.
