Simon Eli Vella has issues. He has debilitating insecurity, which causes him to underachieve in school. He gets picked on by older kids, until he figures out how to shoplift porn and sell it to other schoolboys. He has an extreme allergy to girls, needing alcohol to even speak to them.

But perhaps most disconcerting (although entertaining) is the hyper-critical voice in his head that sounds like a blending of Morgan Freeman and the BBC's David Attenborough and who narrates the worst of his insecurities in every situation.

What else is there for an extremely insecure boy from Australia to do after school but to go on a global career avoidance tour to Europe and the United States? And if that includes a lot of clubbing, drinking, and illicit drugs, then Simon is there.

Although there's not much sex (hence, the title of the memoir: Limp), there are lots of adventures, anxieties, and lessons in life. Throw in a major lawsuit, blood and broken bones, the runniest nose in history, a hundred kilometer walk, and the documentary-style running narration of Morgan Attenborough, and you've got one funny, uplifting, amazing memoir!

Galleys for Limp were provided by the publisher through NetGalley.com.