all the books, but not all the books

I want to read all the books! But I have only so much time. 24 hours in a day. Some of that goes into working, so I can afford the books. Some of that goes into sleeping, to restore my eyes from the books. Some of that goes to relationships, so I can talk about the books. Some of it goes into eating, so I have energy for the books. That leaves only so much time for the reading. 

I could read more books if I read faster. I have the ability. It's just that I don't enjoy it. When I start to skip over a word here and there in a race to the end of the page, then I start to wonder what I'm missing. What if that word is key to understanding just what the author wanted? What if it would change the meaning for me, or if it would just enhance the experience of the author's word choices? The OCD part of my brain just can't deal with that. It screams at me that all is not well, and it won't be quieted until I go back and read all the words. 

So I read slow. Or, slow as compared to the speed I could be reading. It means I don't get to read all the books I want to. But it keeps me sane. (Ish.) It makes the experience of reading so much sweeter for me. I have learned to fight off the voice in my head that says, "Read faster! There are too many books!"

Here is what I want you to take away from this: read how you want. Don't listen to the people who try to tell you how to read or what to read or why to read or how much to read. Read what makes you happy. Read it somewhere you are comfortable. Read you favorite books. You might not get to read all the books you want to, but you'll enjoy the reading journey. I think that's the best way. 

snapshot 10.9

i want to be that girl on the train