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make new friends but keep the old

Eleni had a rough time at summer camp, but she’s heading home now to her BFF Sylvie. She got to camp, ready to have a great time with her best camp friend Maddy, but instead Maddy had become obsessed with soccer and spent all her time with her teammates. But now Leni is back home, and she’s got some great ideas for Sylvie’s upcoming birthday party.

But Sylvie just wants to spend time with her new friends Annie, Zora, and Paloma. Leni gives Sylvie her ideas for the party—a backyard movie with popcorn and special tents for the girls to sit in. But when the day of the party gets there, Leni realizes that not only did Sylvie ask her new friends to come early to help set up but she also invited them to stay for a sleepover afterward. Leni feels left out and alone, and she wonders what’s going to happen when school starts up. It’s their first year at middle school. Will she have any friends at school?

In the week between Sylvie’s party and the first day of school, Leni thinks back over some of her old friendships and why they had stopped. Her friend Charlotte moved away, so that one’s not as hard to figure out. But she used to send time with her neighbor Will. And with Brenna from Hebrew school. Why was she not friends with them anymore? Eleni decides to figure out what has happened to her friendships. And she decides to start with Charlotte.

Leni loves stationery, so she picks out a favorite and writes a letter to Charlotte. She thinks that if they start talking again, maybe Leni can figure out what went wrong between them. But she has bigger problems. School is about to start, so not only does she have to worry about who will be her friend there, but there is also the overnight. The sixth graders go on an overnight trip, and Leni has been planning this with Sylvie for years. There is a costume party, and Leni wanted to choose a costume that went with Sylvie’s. But now she has no costume ideas just for herself, and she doesn’t know who she is going to room with.

But then school starts, and she finds herself hanging out with some new friends. She starts talking to Adelaide, the daughter of one of her mother’s friends. Adelaide is a little older, so she can help Leni get some perspective with her new friendship project. And Charlotte writes back, helping Leni feel her friendship problems might not be all her fault.

As Leni’s self-esteem grows, her courage does too, and she finds a way to have some very difficult conversations with Brenna and Will. But will she be able to figure out what happened with Sylvie, her best friend? Or will she have to keep wondering what happened?

Dear Friends is a middle grade look at friendships, the ones that last and the ones that don’t. Author Lisa Greenwald takes a honest look at the friendships we have as kids and how we sometimes outgrow them. Leni is a character who faces these relationship questions with courage and a maturity that is usually beyond that of a middle schooler. And that’s exactly why it will be such a helpful book to young woman, to learn about potentially toxic relationships before they can do too much damage.

This is one of those books I wish I’d had as a kid. I was awkward and struggled to make friends, and reading about someone else who struggled and who put in a lot of work to figure out the secrets to friendship would have made me feel far less alone. And it may have helped teach me to be a better friend. Part of the reason I still read middle school books is to champion books like this and try to get them into the hands of kids who need them. I know there are kids out there who will benefit from this book. I hope that they find this book and learn from Eleni’s mistakes and from her courage.

Voice galleys for Dear Friends were provided by Harper Audio through NetGalley, with many thanks.