It started with a dream. A nightmare. A witch’s face at the window. Bree Cabbat jerked awake, thinking she saw a witch’s face at her bedroom window. But it had to be a dream. The gate to their backyard is locked. There is no way a witch, or maybe just a woman, is in the backyard. Her husband Trey offered to go out back and make sure no one was there, but she shrugged him off. It was just a dream.

But the next afternoon, Bree saw the woman’s face again. Bree had been at her daughters’ school, putting out snacks for her older daughter’s play practice. They were putting on an edited version of Grease, and Anna-Claire was one of the Pink Ladies, and as Bree was setting out the snacks she’d brought them, she glanced out at the parking lot and saw the woman again. Not a witch, not a dream, just an older woman walking by. Bree was unsettled but tried to get her imagination back under control.

Her mother had been anxious when Bree had been young, always hearing noises in the basement or the attic, always calling the police to come check. Bree was determined not to think like that, not to raise her children in a home filled with tension. So Bree shook off her judgments and went up to the balcony to watch Anna-Claire, along with her younger daughter Peyton and infant Robbie.

Bree had been studying to be an actress, when she’d met Trey and they fell in love. She traded in her dreams for the stage for their shared dreams of family. They wanted a big house in a good neighborhood, not the ultra-rich Buckhead area where his parents lived, but more than comfortable. With Trey’s family money and his career as an attorney, they could easily afford it. He suggested a lake house, she countered with yearly vacations where they show their kids the world. Their dreams matched up, they married and started having kids, and Bree had never been happier.

But when Anna-Claire finished her song and Bree turned around, Robbie was gone. She’d left him in his car seat a couple of rows back, but they were the only ones in the balcony, so she knew he’d been safe.

But he wasn’t. His car seat was gone and in its place was a note with instructions for her to go home.

Bree, panicked, races for the car to go home. She asks a family friend to take her daughters to her mother’s apartment, where they would be safe. Trey was out of town on business, so Bree didn’t know what else to do. The note said not to call the police, so she didn’t. She drove home to wait for instructions.

When she gets home, there is a colorful gift bag hanging on her front door. Bree takes it inside and finds an old cell phone and a prescription bottle with 6 pills in it. When the phone rings, Bree gets instructions from the woman on the other line. She knows that Robert is okay, because she can hear him breathing over the phone. Bree gets her instructions and tries to figure out a way to go through with them. She has no idea what will happen if she follows through, but she knows what will happen if she doesn’t.

She will lose her son.

Mother May I is a gripping thriller from bestselling writer Joshilyn Jackson. One woman’s desperate journey to find her son and bring him home takes her to the edge of her sanity and starts a dangerous chain of events that will leave Bree and her family forever changed. This crazy ride of a story is gut-wrenching and breath-stealing, as it takes you on a ride that feels so real you’ll have to sleep with the lights on.

I was lost in this story of masterful suspense, barely able to wait until the next page to find out what was going to happen next. The characters seemed so realistic that it felt like could really be happening. It was raw and beautiful and left me walking on the edge of a sword, not at certain where I was going to end up. I can still feel the tension in my shoulders, just thinking about it. Mother May I is a lovingly crafted nightmare, and smart readers will snap it up and read it immediately.

Egalleys for Mother May I were provided by William Morrow through NetGalley, with many thanks.