I have a problem. I am addicted to . . . school supplies. Every fall (and other seasons as well, but mostly in fall), I have the urge to go from store to store buying notebooks and pens and index cards by the dozens. It happened to me just today. I was a block or two away from a Target, and that little voice appeared in my hear. "Just look. You don't have to buy anything. You can just look and see what they have . . ."
That little voice is the reason I have hundreds of blue ball point pens (yes, always blue) and at least a dozen untouched composition notebooks. Because I have a problem.
This fall I have been going out of my way to avoid the places that bring on the voice. Target is prime. Office Depot, Office Max, Staples. Since "the Voice" came after me again today, I am clearly not as safe from my addiction as I was hoping. Because I know how this will go. I'll start by looking at small notebooks, where I can make quick notes to myself--grocery lists, books to read, things to add to my calendar, more books to read, restaurants to try, whatever.
But if I do that. If I let myself get that one little notebook, then it will lead to another. Or a larger notebook. Or four. And then I need things to go with them. I need pens, Papermate, medium point blue ball point pens. And then all bets are off. I'm just grabbing stuff off the shelves, buying anything my credit cards can handle. And I already have more school supplies than I ever did when I was in school.
Is there a way to fix this? Is there a Pens Anonymous or something? Or maybe I just need some compassion and forgiveness. It's not the worst thing in the world to be enthralled by the possibilities of a blank page, or of a thousand blank pages. To be consumed with the idea of education. Perhaps the solution is simpler than I'd thought.
Maybe I just need a bigger desk.